


Unconditional Love

by Mae01



Series: Marauders Modern AU [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Fanfiction, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, M/M, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), One Shot, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29282934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mae01/pseuds/Mae01
Summary: Naz is a word that comes from the Urdu language. The definition of this word is ‘the pride that comes from knowing that you are loved no matter what you do.’Sirius and Remus never thought they would experience this pride.
Relationships: Harry Potter & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & James Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Harry Potter & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Marauders Modern AU [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138295
Kudos: 23





	Unconditional Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is a stand-alone work. There are other stories in the universe, but you do not need to read other stories to understand this one.
> 
> I do not own any Harry Potter characters all characters belong to JK Rowling.

Naz is a word that comes from the Urdu language. The definition of this word is ‘the pride that comes from knowing that you are loved no matter what you do.’ To my belief, not many people are able to experience ‘Naz,’ it isn’t something that they have done to make them feel that way, perhaps it is the world we grow up in. To be loved, we are subconsciously told that we need to act or be a certain way. Maybe we have to be kinder or we have to look more like a celebrity. Sometimes we cannot experience the Naz feeling because we don’t have the past experiences that encouraged the idea that we are loved no matter what. Maybe our parents told us we were only loved if we acted a certain way. Maybe it was someone in power over us that told us we were only loved if we listened to what they said. Sirius and Remus never thought they would experience this pride. 

  
Sirius grew up in an abusive and controlling household. He had to act a certain way and he had to look presentable at all times. If he didn’t? The answer is simple. He was punished. Sirius knew that he was only ‘loved’ by his family if he followed their rules to the farthest extent. Little did he know, his experience of love as a child was not love. It is not what someone would classify as parental love. It was conditional love, not a type of love a parent should demonstrate.

When Sirius realized his parents did not love him, he was conflicted. Did people actually love him for who he was? Would anyone ever love him for who he was? Does he deserve to be loved? Would anyone ever love him if he acted like his true self? To his belief, the answer to all of those questions was no. So he hid behind a mask and tried to hold his tired head up high. This worked well for him. Until it didn’t. When he was 16, he ran away from his home to his best friends house. Would James and his family love him if they found out the truth? Would they still accept him under their roof if they found out he was bisexual? If they found out, would they send him to the streets? Would they still keep Sirius if they found out what his parents did? As Sirius ran to his best friends house, he thought he would have to hide his true self until he could support himself. He planned to come off as someone strong while he stayed there for as long as they would let him. No one could find out who he truly was. He would be loved as long as they didn’t know the truth. As he knocked on the front door, he asked himself something. If he told the Potters’, would they stop loving him too?

Remus grew up with cold and distant parents. He knew as a kid that they loved him, but as he grew older, the lines between love and providing for started to blur. Did they make him supper because they loved him or because they had to? His friends’ parents would make them their favourite meal on birthdays. That wasn’t necessary, so was that love? Sometimes Remus would be given presents on his birthday by his parents. One time they gave him a new pair of shoes. But, as he grew older, he realized that maybe he got those shoes because his old pair had holes where his toes were. Maybe that birthday gift was just a well-timed need? Remus didn’t want to ask though, maybe it would be better if he just thought of those shoes as a birthday gift. 

Someone took interest in Remus when he was nine. The man said that he loved Remus. As long as Remus kept it a secret, the love would continue. Does all love include touching? Was Remus special to this man? He assumed the answer was yes. His parents were distant, but maybe this man would take care of Remus when his parents were too busy to remember his birthday. This man didn’t know when Remus’ birthday was, but that was okay because he would hang out with Remus. But as he got older, he realized that it was not love. Hurting Remus wasn’t love, but he had thought that he had deserved it. If he said he should tell someone, he got hurt. But the man said that was because Remus deserved it. And if someone loved you, they would want to make sure you were being good and that you weren’t dangering yourself. Someone who loved you wouldn’t just watch stuff happen from a distance, right? They would intervene. And that’s what this man said he was doing, if he told someone then he would be getting hurt. So the man stopped him. That’s what love was like. Until it was taken too far and Remus almost died. He had kept it a secret for five years. If he told anyone, would they stop loving him too? As Remus made it to his room, he saw his best friends lights on. Would she stop loving him if he told her?

  
Once the door opened, Sirius saw something in Mrs Potter’s eyes before she leads him in and wrapped him in a hug. Was this love? How long would this last for him? Would he still receive hugs after they found out about his parents and who he liked? If they found out that he liked both guys and girls, would he see the disgust in their eyes as he saw in his mothers? Mrs Potter was talking to him and was saying so many things. She said that no matter what happened that he was welcome in the house. She said that no matter what has happened or what will happen, that they loved him. Did they really or was this just a joke and they would laugh once he told them? Maybe he should just lie and say nothing happened, then he could at least get one good sleep before he had to find a new place to sleep. But as he looked to the sound from the stairs, he saw his best friend and knew he couldn’t lie to them. He would have to tell them how at 16 he ran away from home, his parents were abusive and that he liked both guys and girls. As a mug of hot chocolate and a plate of cookies were set in front of him, he began to speak and could only hope that he would be accepted even if not loved.

  
As Remus sat on his bed and looked to his best friends window, he didn’t know if he should go over. He knew that if he didn’t that he might not live until the morning. But maybe that would be better, maybe if he stopped living then this nightmare would be over and he wouldn’t have to worry about love and what love looks like anymore. It would all be over. But he thought about Lily and what that would do to her. Remus was never a selfish person, that was probably the main problem. He always put others first no matter what. But this was the only time he could remember about wanting to put himself first and maybe that’s what made him knock on her window as he carefully and slowly crawled across the tree branches between the windows. When the window was opened and Lily looked at him, he saw something in her eyes. Was this what love looked like? Did she have some love for him as she saw her 14-year-old best friend/brother stand before her beaten and bruised? Was she going tell him to crawl back into his house in disgust? He couldn’t lie to her. If one person saw the change in him over the years it was Lily. Lily needed to know the truth and then she could make her decision on if she would still love him or not.

  
They sat beside Sirius and cried. They kept repeating once phrase over and over again. _We still love you, Sirius. You’re safe now._ The next day, Mr and Mrs Potter bought a second bed and put it in James’ room. Mr and Mrs Potter kept saying ‘their sons.’ They took him in and he was a Potter. James was his brother and he eventually called Mr and Mrs Potter ‘mom and dad.’ They loved him and they said that would never change. Maybe this was where Sirius could learn what love looked like and what unconditional love felt like. The hugs were a nice start.

  
Lily held Remus’ hand while he sat on the hospital bed. Her dad stayed with him when Lily had to go home to bed but she came back the next day. His parents also came but when they saw he had Lily then they left saying ‘you don’t need us. Lily is here.’ Maybe he wouldn’t look towards his parents as examples of what love looked like, but Lily and her dad seemed like they could spare some love. Mr Evans eventually taught Remus how to drive and Lily never left his side. Love was a weird thing. That’s what Remus had come to the conclusion about. His parents grew more distant when they found out what happened for five years, but Lily and he somehow grew closer. He thought she would leave him but she didn’t. When he told his parents he was gay, they left the room. They never kicked him out or hurt him, but he didn’t think they loved him. When he told Lily and her dad that he was gay, Lily gave him a hug and her dad left the house. But Mr Evans came back 30 minutes later with a rainbow cupcake and gave him a hug. Maybe these were the people Remus could learn from about what love looked like and what unconditional love felt like. The hugs were a nice start.

  
As Sirius sat in his brother’s house playing a big family game of monopoly, he realized that he was unconditionally loved by the four other people in the room. His brother and his wife loved him and were always there for him. His nephew/godson loved him and made sure that they had their weekly Mario Cart tournament together. His husband loved him and made sure he never forgot. This was his immediate family and he knew that they would love him no matter what happened. He was proud of this family and proud that he finally knew that they would always love him.

  
As Remus sat in his sister’s house playing a big family game of monopoly, he realized that he was unconditionally loved by the four other people in the room. His sister and her husband loved him and were always there for him. His nephew/godson loved him and made sure they had their weekly tea and checkers game together. His husband loved him and made sure he never forgot. This was his immediate family and he knew that they would love him no matter what happened. He was proud of this family and proud that he finally knew that they would always love him.

  
Naz is a word that comes from the Urdu language. The definition of this word is ‘the pride that comes from knowing that you are loved no matter what you do.’ Not everybody has a chance to experience this feeling but it’s never too late to try to experience it.


End file.
